Whose awareness became an intolerable strain
and who tried to escape by removing his brain

Young Simon grew to know the world and know its horror too
so he nipped down to his doctor's to see what he could do

The doctor peered in Simon’s eyes and pondered for a bit
then wrote out a prescription for

and there on the shelf by the   INSTANT TESTOTOMIES
were the kits for performing the   WHOLE-BRAIN LABOTOMIES

in a neatly labelled scarlet box wrapped up in cellophane
with step-by-step instructions for the removal of a brain

With it’s help, explained the doctor, he would be a mindless twit
and when Simon nodded gratefully he handed him the kit

together with an aerosol of
Young Simon shook him by the hand and hurried off back home

That evening Simon climbed the stairs filled with anticipation
and in the silent bathroom he commenced his operation

First he read through the   INSTRUCTION BOOK   with extra special care
then he took the shining razor-shears and shaved off all his hair

He filled a hypodermic with some liquid in a tin
then injecting all the contents at a point beneath his chin

Upon his head he placed a crown with cutting-discs of chrome
which slowly reamed a narrow groove that ran right through the bone

Simon lifted up his forehead as one raises up a hat
and he scooped out all the brain tissue and fed it to the cat

Before he stitched the top back on he filled his cranial cavity
then he hurried off to bed as he had lost all sense of gravity


Next morning Simon woke up feeling just as sane as ever
He had his usual headache but he didn’t feel less clever

His previous evening’s efforts had not dulled his keen awareness
to the horror of existence in its nihilistic spareness

The spider in its bamboo cage was waiting to be fed
The cat was reading Nietzsche at the bottom of the bed

The implements of surgery lay scattered on the floor
His shrunken head upon the shelf stared blindly as before

The painting of his father still hung upon the wall
and from the distant kitchen he could hear his mother’s call

As he hurried down to breakfast Simon shook an empty head
I’ve removed my brains for nothing!     and that’s what Simon said